I felt like sleeping for five years but they wouldn’t let me.

Charles Bukowski, Ham On Rye (via insanity-and-vanity)
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If you cum and she doesn’t…you didn’t fuck her, she fucked you.

Not me (via fvckem)

THANK YOU

(via thatstrangecatladyerin)

Just gonna reblog this again

(via sorry-nigga)

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mylifeinmegabytes:

So one of my friends broke her arm falling off her porch and her hot neighbor friend took her to the emergency room. When she about to get a xray the technician asked “is there any possibility of you being pregnant?” and she’s like “No” the technician looked at her, looked the the hot neighbor friend then look back at her and asked "Are you sure?"

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autumnlesterhowell:

always listen to your heart
unless you can listen to fall out boy
then always listen to fall out boy

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kamikazeworld:

fantasticsteve:

ohyousourwolf:

Why is it that evil villains always find poison to inject into their victims like just literally fill the syringe with air and just stick the needle between their toes or something. It’ll mimic a heart attack and the victim will die pretty quick and NO ONE WILL ASK MANY QUESTIONS BECAUSE IT’LL LOOK LIKE A HEART ATTACK

first of all how do you know this information i feel like the government doesnt want you to know that

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